Mrs. Smiley’s Philosophy
We believe passionately that EVERY CHILD CAN LEARN. Some children may learn slowly with much repetition, while some learn quickly, in just a few lessons, but every child can learn.
We believe learning and teaching make for a simple, sweet dance between student and teacher, between a child’s developmental level—his physical, emotional, and behavioral readiness to learn—and a parent or instructor’s well-ordered lessons. Good teaching, then, means recognizing a child’s developmental level—no matter her age or grade—and then teaching her in ordered, step-by-step lessons from that level forward.
Our philosophy has four tenets: (1) learning is developmental, (2) lessons should progress logically, (3) adults need to give children genuine affirmation, and (4) children thrive in an environment of predictable, peaceful structure where adults are in charge.
Learning is Developmental
Allowing the rosebud to open
You cannot force a rosebud. So delicate, so beautiful, so full of still-hidden potential, unique in their development, children are the rosebuds in our homes and in our classrooms. They cannot and will not open on our imposed timetables. Most learning seems to happen beneath the surface, as children absorb concepts and make connections that we cannot see. It can seem as though our students are stuck, not learning for days or even weeks and months, making no strides. Then, one day, they suddenly open like rosebuds, bursting forth to read, or eagerly computing, and we are amazed at all they had been learning but not displaying until this moment. Teaching with the recognition that learning is developmental requires patience, but this awareness brings great rewards.
Lessons Progress Logically
Building the skyscraper of skills
When workers construct a building, they begin by digging deeply and creating a firm foundation. The ground floor must be strong before it can support the floor above it. So it is with teaching and learning. The foundation of a student’s skills and learning must be sound and solid, constructed to enable the child to progress and master more complex academics. This model resonates with students, especially upper elementary and middle school students who have felt frustrated for years by their inability to succeed in reading or writing or math. We will tell a struggling sixth grader that the problem is not that he is not smart; it is simply that he has been working hard to build the sixth floor of his skyscraper, while what he really needs is to return to his shaky first floor and make it stronger. Oh, how he giggles, much relieved! His challenge suddenly seems easier to overcome.
What this means is that in order to help a child, no matter her age or grade, we must take a student as far back as necessary and shore up skills and confidence in her area of weakness. This might result in a middle school student struggling with reading or writing or spelling relearning all of first grade phonics. It might mean taking a fourth-grader struggling with fractions all the way back to memorizing and, therefore, finally mastering the basic multiplication and division tables. For reasons of memory or maturity, these students simply were not ready to learn these early skills at six years of age. But because of their advanced development, children easily learn these skills now! What takes a first-grader a year to master usually takes the struggling sixth-grader somewhere between a week and a month to conquer. Students’ confidence soars. They are retrofitting their skyscrapers, they see instant success, and they feel wonderful.
Affirmation Works Miracles
Our experience as both mothers and teachers has taught us over and over again that whether at school or at home, children thrive in environments that are at the same time gentle and structured. Adults foster this gentleness when they find and affirm a child’s strengths before delving in to work on a child’s area of weakness. These wise parents and teachers look for what is right before seeking what is not.
As a first step in tackling a child’s school difficulties, we advise anxious parents to “Relax, and enjoy your child!” This often means simply to notice and delight in the student’s gifts. Even if a child appears to have few or no academic strengths compared with those of his peers—and we contend that those seemingly invisible academic skills are just in hiding or in hibernation for a season or two—every child has astoundingly beautiful strengths.
Perhaps your student is wonderfully coordinated, a great batter or dancer. Perhaps she has a sensitive heart that seems to know how others feel and a gift for making them feel better. Perhaps he is great at visiting seniors in the nearby nursing home, showing bravery and optimism and confidence as he greets even the most solemn patients. Perhaps she has a keen skill for organization, or he has a love for cooking, or she has an innate understanding of nature, or he has a memory for melody. Even the most struggling student has incredible gifts to offer the world!
Renewed with this perspective, parents and teachers can begin to give the children in their care the genuine, specific praise they need, as well as the time to practice the skills at which the children already succeed. The youngsters begin to see the worth of their respective gifts so that instead of flailing in failure and insecurity, they—along with their parents and teachers—can move forward to address real needs. Adults and children alike start to relax, anxiety dissolves, and confidence rises. Children become ready to tackle even very challenging tasks.
Parents Must Take Control
Children know instinctively that they cannot take care of themselves. They long for the adults in their lives to provide boundaries and stability. Youngsters’ safety, their emotions, and their behavior depend upon this environment. Parents and teachers create this stability through structure—the daily routines, weekly schedules, and regular rule-following that bring confidence and security to the children in their care.
When parents or teachers do not provide this multifaceted security, children are terrified and communicate their fears in a myriad of misbehavior, anger, or withdrawal, all of which greatly impair their ability to learn. When adults do provide the structure children need, these children become confident, peaceful, and happy; they become self-starters; they become self-disciplined.
While a given structure can be flexible or rigid depending on needs, every peaceful home or classroom possesses one. Daily routines can be simple, such as a regular order of dressing, grooming, and bed-making in the morning or family dinner at night. Weekly schedules include which days a family does errands and practices sports, or which afternoons it stays home. Regular rule-following can mean the kind and respectful way we speak to each other, with immediate chances to practice or re-speak when we— adults or children—fall short of that standard. Routines, schedules, and rule-following can also be much more complex, but what is important is the existence of such standards in the lives of children. The effect of structure is manifold. It is easier for children to participate in classroom or family life if they know the plan. It is easier for children to behave appropriately when they know what is expected of them—and that that expectation is the same every day. It is easier for children to react to problems or their own mistakes peacefully when they can predict how the adults in their lives will react—and that that reaction will be logical, fair, and respectful. And all this ability to behave and predict and be “in the know” in turn builds confidence, responsibility, unity, and independence.
Once a young child has learned through daily repetition when it is time to clean up and where to put the blocks he will suddenly one day want to impress his teacher or parent by cleaning them up himself without being asked. Or the older student will have completed his report independently. Oh, the pride in surpassing expectations! So when parents take control of their homes, they actually, ever so slowly and carefully, are teaching children how to one day take control of themselves.
Using Ask Mrs. Smiley
Using Mrs. Smiley’s 45 years of teaching experience, we have designed step-by-step lessons to ensure success in school. The parents of a toddler or kindergartener will use Ask Mrs. Smiley to prevent future academic challenges, digging deeply and creating the foundation of their young child’s academic skyscrapers.
In a different way, the parent of a struggling elementary or middle school student will use Ask Mrs. Smiley to address a child’s specific academic challenges. By working through the early lessons in each chapter, an older student will shore up the foundation and retrofit the first floors of his skyscraper of learning. When the student can complete these foundational tasks confidently, independently, and repeatedly, he or she has proven mastery and is ready to move on to the more sophisticated lessons to find great success in and beyond his or her grade level.
Parents must identify their child’s needs—the skyscraper floor on which construction or retrofitting must begin. If a parent is in doubt with regard to the starting floor, he should simply go to the foundation—the very beginning—and begin with those lessons. On this website are skyscraper models to assist with that process: one for literacy, one for writing, and one for math. Plug into the appropriate lessons, affirm students’ strengths, work consistently, watch patiently. Your child will be feeling brilliant, for he is reaching new heights. The rosebud is in full bloom.